Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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