i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
