shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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