at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
