The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
