Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize