did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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