guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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