Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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