you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
