Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
