no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
