in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
