oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
