So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
