He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
