So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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