i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
