So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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