fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
