Sry I called you an 8
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
