You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
