Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
