Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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