i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Randomize
