I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
My bed smells like the plague
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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