it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
