So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
