He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
