I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
