I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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