Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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