i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
