I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
