Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
