There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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