Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
