I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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