There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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