I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
