i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
