There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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