Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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