just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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