He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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