He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
