He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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