i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
