chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
