You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
