Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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