The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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