worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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