Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
