Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
