This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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