ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You ruined the universe
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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