Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Randomize