David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
