i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize