We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
