i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Did I show you my penis last night?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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