Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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