gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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