I wish I could teleport
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize